Things Parents Hate: Caillou

As a parent, part of your job is to do things you do not want to do. This includes things like fighting a 3 year old to eat more than one bite of dinner or listening to ‘All Around the Mulberry Bush’ until blood spurts from your ears like a fire hose. This series will spotlight things that we as parents can’t stand. A safe forum to voice your frustration, or utter hatred for something related to parenthood.

What is ‘Caillou’?

For those of you who have never heard of this abomination, please take this as a warning. ‘Caillou’ is a kid’s television show that appears on PBS and is available on Netflix Instant View. On the surface, ‘Caillou’ seems like a harmless and cute show for kids.

You may be fooled, like I was, into thinking that ‘Hey, it’s nice to see a kids show that focuses on the family, the kids act like kids in that age group, and my kid seems to love this ‘Caillou’ fella. He’s A-OK in my book!’

And that is the trap that is laid by Caillou. Like falling into a pit filled with spikes laced with feces, you only realize once it is too late that you fucked up badly. Because by the time you understand the true deafening horror that is the spawn of Satan, your child is already hooked, and you dear friend are the arbiter of unfairness should you try to excise this demon from your home.

What’s so bad about peace, love, and Caillou?

Here we see Caillou’s grandmother contemplating suicide

‘Caillou’  is filled with a whole cast of characters, from Caillou’s parents, sister Rosie, friends, and the surrounding neighborhood. They are all kind and helpful, and a true joy to watch. But the problem with this show comes down to one character and one character alone

Caillou.

Caillouis the single most annoying cartoon character ever created. He’s four, already prone to male pattern baldness, and the attitude of a primadonna. At first you may think his reactions to every situation mimic the actions of your own 4 year old. But now instead of having one whining child in your home, you have 2, and this new one is now your child’s hero.

Ask yourself; do you enjoy listening to a whining child?

If you answered yes, then you are going to love Caillou, because this little son of a bitch does nothing but whine. That is his only reaction to every situation. Caillou goes to school, he whines. Caillou makes breakfast, he whines. It’s raining outside. Guess who is whining about that too? No matter what is going on around him, this kid has a mission to ruin the lives of all the people who are forced to spend more than one minute in his presence.  Hell, even in Caillou books, he whines!

Caillou crushing the dreams of his family

This little bastard doesn’t appreciate one damn thing his parents do for him. His parents have this dead look in their eyes that says ‘why oh why did that condom have to break’. I’m waiting for the episode where they’ve been pushed to the edge and just haul off and slap him across his smug little face and tell him to shut the fuck up.

When he isn’t whining, which seems to only happen between breaths, he has a voice like that a pleading buzzsaw, which is currently digging its way through your temporal lobe.

Watch this short video:

You hear that noise? Expect to hear that every episode, that is the sound of your doom approaching. Did you notice his eyes in this video when he doesn’t get his way within 2 seconds of trying something? He goes from whiny to serial killer. That furrowed brow that says ‘I will murder everything within a 2 mile radius if I don’t get my way, right now!’. This kid is a psychopath and I think that is why no one understands how to say ‘no’ to him.

Seriously, if you take Caillou out of his own show, you may end up with one of the sweetest and most charming children’s shows. As it stands, this show only stands to force parents to drink are curse under their breath every time their child says ‘I wanna watch Caillou’.

The worst part is that to young kids, Caillou becomes a role model as to how they should act. Your previously well mannered child, will now exhibit signs of what I like to call Whineius Calliouious. You’ll look into the face of your young boy or girl and suddenly they are whining. Now all you can see when you look at them are real life Caillous that have come to destroy your soul. Once Caillouhas infected them, the only cure is to refuse them to watch it anymore, which leads to only more Caillou level whining.

 

What can parents do to help this situation?

Unfortunately, after your kid has watched Caillou, there is not much you can do. A start is to unplug all electronic devices as to keep away from the risk of every seeing Caillou. Then learn to erase even the work Caillou from your vocabulary. Pretend as if you’ve never heard, seen, or read anything involving Caillou.

You know this will only end in more whining

If your child asks ‘When can we watch Caillou’

Act dumb and reply ‘What is Caillou? I’ve never heard of such a thing before. Here have a cookie.’ Your child may throw a fit or hate you forever, but at least you will not have to sit through another 30 minutes of bald-headed torture.

If all else fails, please enjoy this:

Kloipy’s ‘Calliou’ Drinking Game

If Caillou cries: Take a Drink

If Caillou fights with his sister, mom, dad, the cat, the weather, any random thing that floats into his vision: Take a Drink

If Caillou gets his way: Take a Drink

If Caillou’s parents look exhausted or sigh: Take a Drink

If someone puts up with Caillou’s bullshit for way too long: Take a Drink

If Caillou doesn’t understand something, which then makes him whine: Take a Drink

If Caillou speaks in a sugary sweet way that puts you into diabetic shock: Take a Drink

Follow these rules and you will slip into sweet, sweet oblivion.

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169 thoughts on “Things Parents Hate: Caillou

  1. One of my best friends and I have this in common… It didn’t really bother me until both of my kids (who are 9 months apart) started whining to get their way. I do NOT have the ‘patience’ of his parents. My husband has banned this show from our house! 🙂 Thank you for putting into words what many parents across the world have thought for a LONG time. 🙂

    • One day my daughter started saying “stupid” and i didn’t know where she got it from, but ends up it was a episode where caillou taught his sister to say stupid, and didn’t stop after his mom said no. Well she says it off the hook now, and that was the end of that show for her

  2. Ha! It is on right now, unfortunately is one of my sons favorite shows, I of course just got done hearing him whine “He broke my chair! He’s not my friend anymore!” I then proceeded to put on my headphones while my son is in his Caillou trance.

  3. Oh my this totally makes since why I have seen a major change in my daughter’s attitude, and behavior lately. She watched him non stop for about 5 months, we even had him saved on Netflix. She has began to be whiney like him and have an attitude about even the smallest things like getting in the bath tub which is something she used to love. Thanks a lot for this guys the show will definitely be banned for the munseys house.

  4. It’s a cartoon for heaven’s sake!! The person writing the article is whining on and on about the show. Don’t like it don’t watch it simple as that.

    • Ann- I’m the person who wrote the article. You do know that this wasn’t meant to be taken seriously right?

    • Sorry Ann, the person who wrote this article should receive a medal for valor in telling the absolute and total truth without any sugar coating! I am a Grandmother watching my two year old grandson, who adores Caillou. His voice alone is an assault on the senses but the problem is Caillou, he can actually be quite fresh with the way he reacts to his sister or anyone for that matter. I started to notice that my grandson was answering in a similar way and then the light went off that he picked it up from this annoying little four year old. The rest of the cast is wonderful and sweet and it would be a great little show for children but not with Caillou on board. I have decided not to allow it in my home anymore. It being a PBS show I thought it would be great but now I regret ever turning it on. I would like to thank Kloipy for this posting, it made my day!!!

  5. Omg ur so right. My sister watches this show nonstop. We have to literally drag her from the tv to get her to do things.

  6. If you think Caillou is bad, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood is a million times worse!!! Not only does the main character whine, throw temper tantrums, argue with everyone, and always want his way…ALL of the other characters do it!!! The owl, the cat, the boy and girl, it is enough to wear on the nerves of a saint! Please, watch this show and write a review of it…if you don’t just end it all before the show is over, I’d love to hear what you think of it.

    • I’ve seen Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood….did you watch a cracked out version? Because realy it’s dripping with such overbearing tenderness that it’s killing me with kindness. Sometimes the characters don’t get their way, and they get upset, but there’s always an adult to mediate things. Not like in Caillou, where all he has to do is open his mouth and everyone instantly bends for him before his whining destroys the world

  7. If you think Caillou is bad, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood is a million times worse!!! Not only does the main character whine, throw temper tantrums, argue with everyone, and always want his way…ALL of the other characters do it!!! The owl, the cat, the boy and girl, it is enough to wear on the nerves of a saint! Please, watch this show and write a review of it…if you don’t just end it all before the show is over, I’d love to hear what you think of it.

  8. We not only banished this horrible creation from our home, but our three year old (who was turning into a whining spawn of Satan after only watching two episodes, but thankfully,has fully recovered as soon as the show was forever banned from our home…) our son is so well trained that even a mere image of that little brat on an online ad or something (since he and PBS are fully banned) causes our son to scream “CAILLOU BAD!! CAILLOU EVIL.” He’s trained well and fully recovered, thank god!

      • I used to like this for some stupid reason when i was six, but holy shit the whining really is annoying! I am 15… Its i also hate Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood….This article was Hilarious as fuck. 😀

  9. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best post ever, both my husband and I cracked up the whole time I read this aloud…this post is the truth to every period. I’m glad we’re not the only ones who feel this way! THANK YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!

  10. It’s orible! You are very silly! Cailliou is actually a kid whose parents are trying to make his last few years of life memorable before he dies from a fatal cancer that caused him to lose all his hair from treatment!

  11. First of all THANK GOD I’m not the only one who finds caillou fucking annoying. I mean I don’t see why everybody else in his family has hair EXCEPT for caillou, I mean his grandpa has hair his dad has hair so therefore why does a FOUR year old bald?? Did his mom have a one night stand with the milk man?? Or did the mom have a one night stand with Mr.Clean?

    • Oh and I also forgot to mention daniel tigers neighborhood another main character to whines about everything. If you pay attention the shows kinda racist a Mexican baker an Indian doctor an old white mailman. Can the show be anymore racist?? And it seems daniel tiger always wants it his way. The other day they aired an episode about potty training (which wasn’t that bad considering I have a 2 year old trying to potty train) but what got me was how’s a tiger suppose to use a toilet?? It makes sense for the human characters but a tiger??

  12. Absolutely glad i found this article!
    Caillou is BANNED in our household.
    My 3 year old adored Caillou and we would sit and watch episodes together until I saw a drastic change in my sons behavior. Honestly, I would tune Caillou out bc as everyone says, his voice is piercing!
    I started to notice my son starting to whine, say “awwwwwww” like Caillou when he doesnt get his way, do “raspberries” like Rosie in one episode, pretend cry if I would say NO! And that was IT!! Caillou was done, history, see ya never.com!!! Of course, it took a while to overcome the brainwashing but my son is back to his “normal” tot behavior.
    Thanks for the re assurance!!

  13. You are my hero. My daughter is 19 months and every day when she wakes up it’s “Caillou?” After breakfast (and lunch and dinner) she asks “Caillou, Caillou??” On a walk, at the store, in the car “Caillou?” and if I make the mistake of telling her that she is going to watch Caillou, and then it takes me more than a few minutes to turn it on, it’s CAILLOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” I just have to hope since she started early that she will be sick of it by the time she’s four.

  14. You people who ban Caillou from your kids watching it simply because you don’t like the show are one thing: Bad parents. You may as well be little kids yourselves. Grow the hell up and let your kids watch a show they like whether it annoys you or not. You freaking cry babies. Boo hoo to you. And yes you are shitty parents. My kids have learned so much from watching that show and other Sprout shows. My oldest son is so smart for his age. And don’t try the whole “raising our kids with tv” bs. Because that isn’t the case. We teach them too ans they spend more time not watching tv then they do watching it. Bottom line, Caillou is a great educational and entertaining show for toddlers. You all just need to lighten up the Nazi principle crap for a minute and let your toddlers be toddlers. And maybe you should all be adults to your kids and not older siblings.

  15. You people who ban Caillou from your kids watching it simply because you don’t like the show are one thing: Bad parents. You may as well be little kids yourselves. Grow the hell up and let your kids watch a show they like whether it annoys you or not. You freaking cry babies. Boo hoo to you. And yes you are shitty parents. My kids have learned so much from watching that show and other Sprout shows. My oldest son is so smart for his age. And don’t try the whole “raising our kids with tv” bs. Because that isn’t the case. We teach them too ans they spend more time not watching tv then they do watching it. Bottom line, Caillou is a great educational and entertaining show for toddlers. You all just need to lighten up the Nazi principle crap for a minute and let your toddlers be toddlers. And maybe you should all be adults to your kids and not older siblings.

    • Dear Sir, I’m so sorry you feel this way. You are right about one thing there are tons of educational programing on television. With that being said I highly doubt someone is a bad/shitty parent simply because they choose to skip Calliou as a choice.

    • Caillou is a terrible role model, end of story. And I AM a good parent. We’re phasing it out. (Also, I hope it’s not lost on you that your insults and attacks show hyper – hypocrisy. )

  16. This article is spot on and hilarious!!! As an older sibling whose sister was a diehard Caillou fan, I’ll never forget how Caillou is the worst for all the above reasons and more. I was only 5 when the show came out on PBS and after a month, I could tell he was bad news. Undoing his influence is long and painful so if you see Caillou on the TV lineup/ Netflix, keep scrolling!!!

  17. I agree with everything you said. This show is horrible. We have banned our son from watching it. Bad behaviors all wrapped up in a nice shiny package

    Thanks for the laugh too.

  18. Lol I grew up with Calliou, both when he used to be a cute, innocent child who loved his sister to when he became super whiney and threw tantrums. I hated his parents too and found him really annoying, but loved the show. Good thing my parents were strict, they would’ve never let me copy his behavior!

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