Don’t Speak. People Might Hear You!

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend at work on lunch. We were talking about life and what about the possibility that this life is only one of many and what if a new life starts off each time we die in a different universe and we have no recollection of that previous life. And what if we only lived one life where time was only one continuous motion never advancing but being experienced simultaneously and the only time we are aware of it is when we have déjà vu which signals that feeling that we’ve been there or done the same thing before. My friend and I like to ponder the infinite. To posit what exactly this all means. He and I share a great enjoyment for looking deeper because we only have so much time in which to think about these things.

That doesn’t sit well with others.

While talking about this, a few other people were around us and listening in to our conversation. You could feel a disconnection in the air. None of them interjected with their own thoughts or feelings. They stood quietly amongst us, looking anywhere but at us, and then left without a word. We would have welcomed another voice in the discussion but when it came down to it, no one else wanted to say anything. I think because it scares them.

I think ideas scare people. If our conversation had been about the current season of ‘Dancing with the Stars’ or what the weather would be like in the next few days, I think a group discussion would have begun. Or if someone wanted to talk about their personal life, which some of them do in GREAT detail, they would have listened or added to it. But our conversation was not about how our grandma made a blueberry pie this weekend, or how work sucks, or that it may or may not rain in the next few days.

This was a discussion about life in the grander scale. About what makes us human, and what our purpose is in life, and how that makes them terribly uncomfortable because it isn’t a banal regurgitation of some ego-centric information. We weren’t talking just so people would listen to something about ourselves in some attempt to make our experience feel more important than someone else’s.

I could not count how many conversations I’ve had in my lifetime that revolve around the weather. Either how it is too hot or too cold, how it may rain or snow or sleet or hail, how it was nice in the morning but it isn’t anymore. I don’t mind this conversation once and awhile. Sometimes that is all there is to talk about and I find weather interesting enough, but I also want more out of the human experience than just something I can understand by looking out a window. I like to discuss the unknowable and question reality because it is exciting to think, to use my mind, to conjure ideas up from the depths of my imagination. Not only because it makes for interesting conversation but it also helps to connect us together, because none of us truly know why we are here and what meaning it is.

I don’t think the people who don’t talk about this are below me. I don’t think I’m better or smarter than them. Mostly it just makes me feel sad for them that either they don’t think about anything besides what is normal everyday life, they don’t want to think about that, or they do and are too frightened to talk about it for fear of some sort of society induced stigma.

Because to talk about these matters sets you apart from others. It wants to label you as ‘weird’ or ‘odd’. If you don’t fall in line and only speak of inconsequential matters you are seen as different. People come in and out of our lives at such a speed that if we aren’t careful, we can miss any value from them that helps us both grow and understand more about this gigantic universe around us.

We should not be afraid to ask questions, to discuss, to inquire about things that are deeper than what is on the surface. There is no need to be singled out because of it. It is important to ask and talk with each other about things that matter more.

Ask away my friends.

5 Television Worlds It Would Suck To Live In


Week after week, millions of people immerse themselves in the lives and world of their favorite characters. As viewers, we place ourselves in the shoes of these characters, but would it really be so great to be in these fictional universes?

Game of Thrones


A world of dragons, magic, sweeping landscapes, and a quest for power may seem inviting, but regardless of where you are life in the Game of Thrones universe would surely suck. Sure, you could reach the iron throne and hold sway over Westoros, but would you really want that? You would constantly be looking over your shoulder waiting for someone to kill your ass.

Bloodlines run deep in GoT, and those waters go to the murky place where loving your cousin (or sibling for that matter) takes on a more literal meaning. You are apparently going to have at least 1-15 illegitimate children who will hate you for the rest of your days.

When you die, it will not be pleasant. Not a lot of people go quietly into the good night, more like through torture and dismemberment. Let us not forget how bad this world would smell. Everyone in GoT is either having copious amounts of sex or caked in filth, or both at the same time. I think walking into any town in that world would smell like the equivalent of stepping into a Men’s Room at halftime at the Super Bowl.

Worst yet would be the constant reminder that ‘Winter is Coming’. You cannot even say hello to your fellow man without being told this sentiment. After 2 months you would be begging for winter to just get here already.



One of the positives of being a twenty-something with some money in New York would be that you can kind of do and be whoever you want to be without much consequence. Life hasn’t yet got you to the point of being an adult and you are mostly pretending to play ‘grown ups’. The world is your oyster and I say shuck it! (Pun intended)

The downside is that you need a degree in psychology just to be able to handle your friends. Not one character in ‘Girls’ male or female is in anyway a normal human being. You will enjoy the highs and lows of the bi-polar nation of people in their mid-twenties. Nothing will make sense to you and most likely you would end up with some mental disorder as a proxy of just being in that world. Any of your sexual encounters will most likely be uncomfortable and leave you depressed and disgusted.

The best part of your mid-twenties is that it eventually comes to an end and you realize you are not the center of the universe anymore, and who wants to be in a perpetual loop of that?

Mad Men


A lot is made of how cool Don Draper is. How awesome would it be to go to work, get plastered, and take a nap in your office? Besides the obvious faults of living in a time period that was extremely unjust time for anyone who wasn’t a rich white man, the world of ‘Mad Men’ has other problems.

You would never be happy with anything in your life ever. Regardless of what happens in the ‘Mad Men’ universe it will only end up causing you to fall into a drunken depression. Don Draper ostensibly has it all. The beautiful wife and home, 3 kids, lots of money, a great job, but Don Draper is possibly the unhappiest character that has ever been on TV. His life is filled with doubt and disdain for everything and everyone around him. No matter how good he has it, he is always empty.

Also- all that scotch and cigarettes are going to make you look like a dried up raisin by the time you hit 40.

The Walking Dead


Living in a zombie apocalypse really isn’t all that Twitter has made it to be. You would always be under the threat of being eaten. The really bad part would be (again the smell too) being surrounded by incompetent fools. The survivors of the Walking Dead seem to have as much cognitive function as the zombies they shoot or stab on a regular basis. They make stupid decisions all the time, waste a lot of time doing nothing, and how they survived the initial attack is a miracle.

If they don’t end up getting you killed they will at least drive you to the brink of insanity. Unless they are Daryl.

The Big Bang Theory


You would be surrounded by a bunch of people that network executives think that nerds are like. Also you would constantly surrounded by references to things that happened in the 80’s and geek culture and everything would be one large pop-culture joke. Oh no.


Game of Thrones thinks men don’t need nipples. Um. Excuse Me?


Update: Obviously this is meant to be satire, but in the off chance someone thinks I’m being serious. No. No I am not.

Minor Spoiler Ahead:

Last night, Game of Thrones had it’s third season premiere with the episode ‘Valar Dohaeris’. Lots of things happened. There was some death and nudity and all the things you expect from GoT. But one moment caught me off guard.

While searching for an army, Daenerys met up with a trader for a band of soldiers. While doing the trade, she witnesses how determined the soldiers are when the trader cuts off one of the soldiers nipples in front of her to prove that they are unflinching.

The reason he gives for doing this is because: ‘men don’t need nipples’

Excuse me, Game of Thrones, but how dare you. How dare you slight the need for the male nipple. Just because men don’t use them for feeding or pleasure, or really anything all doesn’t mean that they are useless. This is just a display of the mainstream media degrading a man’s choice to his nipples. Men’s Rights are important because if we don’t do something now, it won’t be long until men are going to be subjected to nipple-removal for cosmetic purpose.

Our nipples have feelings too!

The injustice must stop here and now!

Oh and by the way….

April Fools!

Save the Nipples; Save the World